HELP! I went off Birth Control and Can't Recognize Myself
Birth control has been a part of my daily life for so long. Almost ten years, in fact.
At one point in my life, I'd hear the alarm on my phone and grab my pick of clicking, bouncing, tiny pills, and swallow. Soon, I'd just naturally make my way to the pack before bed. Simple as that.
I knew the hormones were important, and that missing a pill or two would result in a temporary rise in fertility or perhaps even a small breakout on my cheek. These hormones ran my life, low-key.
Yet, not taking the pill felt nothing like a revolution. I just.. didn't buy another pack one day. Then, I just continued to not take it.
I told my friends "this is so liberating! I don't need these hormones!" And that joy lasted one month.
I Don't Even Know Why
First of all, I don't know why I have to take these pills. Apparently I suffer from (what all women nowadays suffer) POS and this pill regulates my period, keeps me from the bad things my body is scheming for me. How bad could those things really be, though?
Weight, acne, painful periods, mood swings, all things I didn't realize were going to get worse.
But my mind still said, isn't natural better? Natural hair, natural weight, natural noses.... (I'm not salty, you're salty).
Certainly, if you're not really worried about pregnancy, you can go off the pill right?
Wrong.
The first month
I joke about the first month with my friends because I felt fine! I was glowing! I was walking on air, no pill to take, no hormones to answer to. Only a couple times did I notice that, yeah maybe this isn't worth crying over, but who cares? Small price to pay for FREEDOM!
I got my period on time, and it was a regular experience, nothing to write home (or on your blog) about.
One thing I did note was the sudden rise in body temperature. I was burning up! All my friends would notice, and I didn't realize until three weeks in that, yeah, Medellin is hot but not THIS hot. Am I menopausal at 25? Jesus.
But Then...
The second month shit started to get weird. Suddenly, I wasn't glowing anymore. I was heavily emotional, full of anxiety, infinitely hungry, and definitely gaining weight.
I started breaking out on my face, my shoulders, my chest, my back. And then my period just didn't come. I didn't panic, as I expected this to be the case and just waited it out.
Two weeks later, at 5 a.m. I woke up to the most painful cramps I'd had in years. I felt as if someone was tearing up my insides for fun. No amount of heat, change of position, or downright begging had done anything to help. I just... laid there in agony dreading the day I decided to not spend $20 on pills.
My temperature has regulated, somewhat, and I'm still keeping an eye on the rest, but I'm shook, guys. I've relied on medication to keep me stable, sane and pain-free, and now I can't even imagine what other things I'll run into if I stay off the pill.
I say if because I am heavily considering going back.
Can BC be like an ex boyfriend that was sort of emotionally detached but still really nice and attractive so you want to try again?
We'll see, won't we?
